Not Just a Phase: Why We Need to Believe and Support Neurodivergent Gender-Diverse Youth
Bridgette Hamstead
In recent years, the visibility of transgender and nonbinary youth has increased, and with it, a growing wave of resistance from those who seek to undermine their identities. Among the most vulnerable within this demographic are neurodivergent gender-diverse youth, particularly autistic trans and nonbinary individuals. These young people exist at the intersection of two marginalized identities, making them targets for discrimination, invalidation, and systemic barriers that deny them the support they need. The current surge in anti-trans rhetoric, legislation, and medical restrictions makes it more critical than ever to recognize, affirm, and protect these youth. Their identities are not a phase, not a trend, and not something to be debated—they are real, valid, and deserving of respect and care.
There is a long history of society dismissing the identities of transgender and nonbinary individuals as a temporary state, especially among young people. The phrase “it’s just a phase” is weaponized against trans youth in an attempt to delegitimize their experiences and force them into conformity. For neurodivergent youth, this dismissal is compounded by the false and harmful assumption that their autism or ADHD makes them incapable of understanding themselves. This narrative is deeply rooted in ableism, suggesting that autistic youth are too confused, too impressionable, or too detached from reality to know who they are. In reality, autistic individuals often have an acute sense of self-awareness, and their experiences with gender identity are no less authentic than those of their neurotypical peers.
Research supports the high prevalence of gender diversity among neurodivergent individuals. Studies have shown that autistic people are significantly more likely to identify as transgender or nonbinary compared to the general population. A study published in the journal Nature Communications found that autistic individuals are three to six times more likely to identify outside the gender binary. This strong correlation suggests that neurodivergence does not cause gender diversity but rather that autistic people may be more likely to question and explore gender outside of rigid social norms. Autistic individuals often experience the world differently from neurotypical people, which may make them more resistant to societal pressures that dictate strict gender roles. Instead of being influenced by external expectations, many autistic youth describe their gender identity as something they have always known but have struggled to express in an unaccepting world.
Despite this, many parents, educators, and even medical professionals continue to challenge and doubt neurodivergent trans youth, often leading to delayed or denied access to gender-affirming care. In states where anti-trans laws are being enacted, gender-affirming medical care is being stripped away, leaving young people in crisis. The consequences of denying trans and nonbinary youth support are devastating. Studies show that gender-affirming care significantly reduces rates of depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation among trans youth. The Trevor Project’s 2022 National Survey on LGBTQ Youth Mental Health found that transgender and nonbinary youth who have access to gender-affirming spaces and care are far less likely to experience suicidal thoughts or attempts. This data underscores what trans advocates have been saying for years: supporting trans youth saves lives.
For neurodivergent trans and nonbinary youth, access to affirming care is particularly essential. Many autistic youth struggle with sensory sensitivities, executive dysfunction, and difficulties with self-advocacy, making it even harder to navigate a healthcare system that is already biased against them. When healthcare providers dismiss their gender identity due to their autism diagnosis, they are actively harming these young people by forcing them into prolonged distress and gender dysphoria. The argument that autistic people are “too easily influenced” into being transgender ignores the reality that many of these youth have faced immense opposition, invalidation, and gaslighting about their identities from a young age. Rather than being “influenced” into trans identities, they are often battling relentless pressure to suppress their true selves.
In addition to healthcare barriers, neurodivergent gender-diverse youth face challenges in education, social spaces, and at home. School environments can be particularly hostile, with many trans students experiencing bullying, exclusion, and misgendering by both peers and teachers. Many schools lack clear policies for name and pronoun changes, making it difficult for trans and nonbinary students to be recognized as who they truly are. This is even more challenging for autistic students who rely on structured, predictable environments where inconsistency in how they are addressed can be particularly distressing. When neurodivergent youth do not have affirming spaces at school, it exacerbates feelings of isolation and increases mental health struggles.
The role of family support cannot be overstated. Parents and guardians are often the first line of defense against a world that seeks to invalidate trans youth, and their acceptance can make a profound difference in their child’s well-being. Family rejection is one of the strongest predictors of negative mental health outcomes for LGBTQ youth, while family acceptance is linked to higher self-esteem, improved mental health, and lower rates of suicidality. For parents of neurodivergent gender-diverse children, believing their child’s identity is real and valid is the first and most important step. Creating a supportive home environment, advocating for their child in medical and educational settings, and seeking out affirming communities can provide a critical safety net in a society that is often hostile to trans identities.
There is an urgent need for greater awareness, education, and advocacy surrounding the intersection of neurodivergence and gender diversity. Schools, healthcare providers, and community organizations must work to dismantle the barriers that prevent these youth from accessing the affirmation and support they need. This includes implementing gender-affirming policies in schools, training healthcare providers to be both neurodiversity-affirming and trans-affirming, and creating spaces where neurodivergent trans youth can connect with others who share their experiences. Representation is also crucial—when neurodivergent trans youth see adults who share their identities thriving, it sends a powerful message that their futures are not only possible but filled with potential.
Neurodivergent gender-diverse youth are not confused, and they are not going through a phase. They are expressing their authentic selves in a world that often tries to silence them. We owe it to them to listen, believe, and advocate fiercely on their behalf. The fight for their rights is not just about access to healthcare or legal protections; it is about their fundamental right to exist as who they are. In a time when their very identities are under attack, standing in solidarity with neurodivergent trans and nonbinary youth is not optional—it is essential.
Here is a list of ways to support neurodivergent gender-diverse youth:
Believe and Validate Their Identity – Accept their gender identity as real and legitimate without questioning or doubting their experiences. Validation is crucial for their mental health and well-being.
Use Their Correct Name and Pronouns – Consistently using their chosen name and pronouns shows respect and support. Misgendering, even accidentally, can be deeply harmful.
Educate Yourself on Neurodivergence and Gender Identity – Learn about the intersection of neurodivergence and gender diversity to better understand their experiences and challenges.
Create a Sensory-Friendly and Affirming Environment – Be mindful of sensory sensitivities, executive functioning struggles, and communication preferences while supporting their gender identity.
Advocate for Gender-Affirming Care – Help them access gender-affirming healthcare, whether that means finding affirming doctors, assisting with paperwork, or standing up against medical gatekeeping.
Support Their Autonomy in Decision-Making – Respect their ability to understand and express their gender identity. Do not assume they are confused or too easily influenced because they are neurodivergent.
Make School a Safe Space – Advocate for inclusive policies, push for gender-neutral restrooms, and ensure that teachers and staff respect their gender identity.
Encourage Self-Expression – Allow them to explore their identity through clothing, hairstyles, names, and pronouns without fear of judgment.
Help Them Find Community – Connect them with affirming spaces, whether it’s LGBTQ+ groups, neurodivergent support networks, or online communities where they can find acceptance.
Protect Them from Harmful Legislation – Speak out against anti-trans laws, advocate for policies that protect trans youth, and challenge misinformation about gender-affirming care.
Provide Emotional Support – Let them know you are there for them unconditionally. A supportive presence can make a significant difference in their mental health.
Listen to Their Needs – Every neurodivergent gender-diverse youth has unique needs. Instead of assuming, ask them how they want to be supported and respect their answers.
Reject and Challenge Harmful Myths – Speak out against the misinformation that neurodivergent youth are "confused" or "too easily influenced" when it comes to their gender identity.
Affirm Their Right to Rest and Joy – Help them find spaces where they can experience joy and community without having to constantly defend their existence.
Be a Visible Ally – Whether in your workplace, school, or social circles, advocate for the rights and dignity of neurodivergent gender-diverse youth.
Supporting neurodivergent gender-diverse youth isn’t just about acceptance—it’s about actively working to create a world where they can thrive. Every action, no matter how small, contributes to a safer, more affirming future for them.