Neurodivergent Joy is Resistance: Finding Happiness in a World That Others Us
Bridgette Hamstead
In a world that often treats neurodivergence as a problem to be solved, finding joy can feel like an act of defiance. We are told from childhood that our differences are deficits, that our natural ways of thinking, feeling, and being are incorrect. Many of us grow up being taught to suppress our stims, silence our special interests, and shape ourselves into something more palatable for the neurotypical world. The messages are everywhere: to succeed, we must mask. To belong, we must assimilate. And yet, in the midst of all this pressure to conform, there exists something powerful and radical—joy.
Neurodivergent joy is an act of resistance. It is the refusal to let a world that others us dictate our worth. It is the reclaiming of pleasure, of happiness, of community, and of self-acceptance. For many of us, joy was stolen early. It was stolen in the form of shame, in the erasure of our natural tendencies, in the exhaustion of trying to be someone we are not. But joy is not gone forever. We can take it back, and in doing so, we reclaim not just our happiness, but our right to exist fully and unapologetically.
One of the most powerful ways to cultivate neurodivergent joy is through the embrace of special interests. In a world that tries to shame us for being “too intense” or “too obsessed,” diving deep into what we love is revolutionary. Special interests are not just hobbies; they are a source of meaning, connection, and fulfillment. When we allow ourselves to fully indulge in the things that light up our minds, we are refusing to let neurotypical expectations stifle our happiness. We are declaring that our passions are valid and that we do not need to justify them to anyone.
Community is another essential part of reclaiming joy. Many of us have spent our lives feeling isolated, misunderstood, and out of place. We have been told we are “too much” or “not enough,” and we have struggled to find spaces where we feel truly safe. But the neurodivergent community is here, and it is growing. Finding others who share our experiences, who understand our struggles and celebrate our strengths, is transformative. We no longer have to explain ourselves. We do not have to apologize for who we are. In community, we find validation, belonging, and joy that comes from knowing we are not alone.
The pursuit of joy is also about rejecting the internalized ableism that tells us we are only valuable if we are productive. We live in a world that equates worth with output, where rest and pleasure are seen as luxuries rather than necessities. For neurodivergent people, this pressure can be crushing. Many of us have spent years pushing ourselves to burnout, believing that we must prove ourselves just to be seen as enough. But joy reminds us that we do not need to earn the right to exist. We deserve to feel happiness simply because we are human. Taking time to rest, to engage in activities that bring us pleasure, and to reject the grind culture that devalues our well-being is an act of defiance against a world that seeks to exploit us.
For many neurodivergent people, joy is also found in sensory experiences. While we are often shamed for our sensory sensitivities or stimming behaviors, these experiences can be a source of profound happiness. Whether it is the soothing repetition of a favorite stim, the deep comfort of a weighted blanket, or the sheer delight of engaging with a favorite texture, sound, or movement, embracing sensory joy is an act of self-love. It is permission to experience the world in the ways that feel best for us, without shame or suppression.
Ultimately, finding joy as a neurodivergent person is about reclaiming what has been denied to us. It is about understanding that our happiness is not contingent on being “normal” or “successful” by society’s standards. It is about rejecting the idea that we must struggle and suffer to be worthy of acceptance. Joy is not just a fleeting emotion; it is a radical, political act. When we allow ourselves to experience happiness in the ways that are most natural to us, we challenge the systems that have tried to erase us. We assert our right to be here, as we are, in all our brilliance and uniqueness.
We deserve joy. We deserve to feel the exhilaration of fully engaging with our passions, the warmth of belonging in a community that understands us, the relief of resting without guilt, and the comfort of embracing our sensory experiences. Our joy is not frivolous. It is not secondary to advocacy or survival. It is central to both. Because when we find joy, we not only nourish ourselves—we also light the way for others. We show the world that we exist, that we thrive, and that we are not going anywhere. And that, in itself, is the most powerful resistance of all.
Here is a list of ways to find or create joy as a neurodivergent person:
Engage Fully in Special Interests – Let yourself dive deep into your passions without guilt or self-judgment. Whether it’s researching, creating, collecting, or practicing, your interests are valid and worthy of your time.
Stim Freely and Proudly – Let yourself engage in stimming behaviors that bring comfort and joy, whether it’s rocking, flapping, spinning, humming, fidgeting, or any other movement that feels good.
Create a Sensory Sanctuary – Curate your space with sensory-friendly items like soft blankets, weighted lap pads, noise-canceling headphones, dim lighting, or essential oils to bring peace and pleasure.
Connect with the Neurodivergent Community – Seek out spaces where you feel seen and understood, whether in-person or online. Finding others who “get” you can be profoundly validating and joyful.
Give Yourself Permission to Rest – Reject the idea that productivity determines your worth. Rest is necessary, and taking time to do nothing or engage in low-energy, comforting activities is an act of self-care.
Explore New Sensory Pleasures – Try different textures, sounds, or movements that might bring unexpected joy, such as running your hands through soft fabric, listening to white noise, or enjoying a favorite scent.
Engage in Autistic Play – Allow yourself to engage in activities that may be considered “childish” but bring you happiness, like collecting small objects, lining things up, playing with sensory toys, or watching nostalgic shows.
Make Time for Your Favorite Repetitive Tasks – Repetition can be incredibly soothing, whether it’s rereading a favorite book, rewatching a comfort show, or engaging in a rhythmic hobby like knitting or puzzles.
Reject Masking in Safe Spaces – Find environments where you can drop the exhausting mask and just be yourself, whether that means speaking freely, using preferred communication methods, or moving naturally.
Celebrate Your Own Achievements – Acknowledge your wins, no matter how small they seem. Whether it’s making it through a hard day, finishing a task, or simply existing in a world not built for you—celebrate it.
Follow Your Own Schedule – If possible, align your activities with your natural energy levels rather than forcing yourself into rigid societal expectations of productivity and timing.
Engage in Joyful Movement – Dance, jump, spin, pace, or sway—whatever movement brings you pleasure. It doesn’t have to be structured exercise; it just has to feel good.
Indulge in a Favorite Food or Drink – Enjoy your comfort foods without judgment. Whether it’s the same meal you eat every day or a new favorite, let yourself savor it.
Curate a “Joy Playlist” – Create a list of songs, sounds, or even TV episodes that bring you happiness, and play them whenever you need an emotional boost.
Give Yourself a “Joy Day” – Set aside a day (or part of a day) where you do only the things that bring you happiness, free from obligation or outside expectations.
Engage in Creative Expression – Whether it’s drawing, writing, crafting, music-making, or another artistic outlet, allow yourself to create without pressure or expectation.
Wear Clothes That Feel Comfortable and Right for You – Prioritize clothing that makes you feel good, whether that means soft fabrics, weighted accessories, or styles that align with your sensory needs.
Laugh Without Inhibition – Allow yourself to fully experience humor in a way that makes sense to you, whether it’s engaging in wordplay, deep-diving into niche jokes, or watching your favorite comedic comfort media.
Spend Time in Nature – If it’s accessible to you, find a quiet, soothing natural space to engage with—whether it’s listening to birds, touching tree bark, or watching clouds move across the sky.
Give Yourself Permission to Be “Weird” – Embrace the parts of yourself that the world calls unusual. Your unique ways of thinking, expressing, and experiencing the world are valuable and beautiful.
Joy is personal, and what works for one neurodivergent person may not work for another. The key is to embrace what feels good to you, without shame, without apology, and without the need for external validation. Your joy is yours to reclaim.