Stop Saying “We’re All a Little ADHD/Autistic”: How This Minimizes Neurodivergent Experiences

Bridgette Hamstead

The phrase "We're all a little ADHD/Autistic" is often used with good intentions, meant to express relatability or to foster a sense of shared experience. However, despite the benign intent behind it, this statement is deeply harmful and contributes to the erasure of neurodivergent experiences. It minimizes the very real challenges that autistic and ADHD individuals navigate daily, reducing neurodivergence to a set of quirky personality traits rather than recognizing it as a fundamental way of experiencing the world. This kind of casual dismissal not only invalidates neurodivergent identities but also perpetuates misunderstandings that make advocacy and support more difficult.

Autism and ADHD are not just personality traits or tendencies; they are neurodevelopmental differences that shape cognition, sensory processing, communication, and executive functioning in profound ways. For those who are neurodivergent, these are not occasional states of being but lifelong experiences that influence every aspect of life, from how one engages with social interactions to how one processes information and manages energy. When someone without these neurotypes claims to be "a little ADHD" because they are occasionally forgetful or "a little autistic" because they prefer routine, it dilutes the depth and complexity of these identities. It implies that neurodivergence is merely a heightened version of traits that everyone possesses rather than a distinct and valid way of existing in the world.

Minimization of neurodivergent experiences contributes to systemic barriers that neurodivergent individuals face daily. The assumption that everyone experiences ADHD or autism to some degree makes it harder for neurodivergent people to be taken seriously when they seek support, accommodations, or diagnosis. If ADHD and autism are framed as traits that everyone shares to some extent, then the challenges faced by those who are actually neurodivergent are dismissed as exaggerations or personal failures rather than legitimate needs. This results in fewer accommodations in schools and workplaces, greater difficulty in accessing proper medical care, and increased stigma surrounding official diagnoses. Neurodivergent individuals are often accused of making excuses for their struggles or are denied recognition of their needs simply because society refuses to acknowledge that these are distinct neurological identities rather than universal human tendencies.

Beyond the structural consequences, these statements also have a profound impact on neurodivergent individuals’ sense of self. For many autistic and ADHD people, the journey to self-acceptance is a long and difficult one, shaped by years of masking, misdiagnosis, or outright dismissal of their experiences. Being told that everyone is "a little" neurodivergent invalidates these struggles and reinforces internalized ableism, making it harder for individuals to fully embrace their identities. Many neurodivergent individuals spend years trying to understand why they feel different, only to be met with a response that erases those differences entirely. Instead of fostering understanding, these statements push neurodivergent people further into isolation, making them feel unseen and unheard.

There is also a fundamental issue of privilege embedded in this kind of thinking. Those who claim to be "a little ADHD" or "a little autistic" are often able to move through society without facing the systemic barriers that neurodivergent people encounter. They do not experience the same level of sensory overwhelm, executive dysfunction, communication challenges, or societal exclusion. They do not have to fight for accommodations in education or the workplace. They do not face the same discrimination in medical settings, nor do they risk being misunderstood or infantilized for their cognitive differences. The ability to claim neurodivergence in a casual or metaphorical way without having to live with the realities of being neurodivergent is an expression of privilege that dismisses the lived realities of those who do not have the option to disengage from their neurotype.

True allyship means acknowledging neurodivergence as a distinct and valid experience rather than a metaphor for common human struggles. Instead of saying, "We're all a little ADHD/Autistic," it is far more affirming to listen to neurodivergent voices, respect their experiences, and advocate for meaningful changes that improve accessibility and inclusion. This means supporting neurodivergent individuals in their fight for recognition and accommodations, challenging societal norms that pathologize neurodivergence, and educating others on the importance of neuro-affirming language. It means recognizing that neurodivergence is not a trend or a quirky personality trait, but a legitimate and valuable way of being in the world.

Neurodivergent individuals deserve to have their experiences acknowledged and respected without being diluted by broad generalizations. The next time someone says, "We're all a little ADHD/Autistic," it is worth challenging that assumption and inviting a deeper conversation about what neurodivergence truly means. By rejecting this kind of minimization and embracing a more inclusive, affirming approach, we take another step toward dismantling ableism and creating a society that values neurodivergent perspectives for what they are—valid, unique, and deeply important.