The Blog
When You’re the First Neurodivergent Person You’ve Ever Known
This article explores the emotional journey of discovering you're neurodivergent later in life, especially when you grew up without language, validation, or community for your differences. It examines the deep loneliness, internalized shame, and self-doubt that can result from being the first neurodivergent person you’ve ever known, and the complex process of healing that follows. Through reflection, grief, and connection, late-identified autistic and ADHD adults can begin to reclaim their stories and rebuild lives rooted in self-trust and belonging.
What Is Autistic Inertia? Understanding One of Autism’s Most Misunderstood Experiences
Autistic inertia refers to the difficulty many autistic people experience when starting, stopping, or transitioning between tasks, even when they want to. It can feel like being stuck in place—unable to begin something important or unable to disengage from a flow state—often leading to shame, overwhelm, and misunderstanding. Recognizing inertia as a valid neurodivergent experience helps us approach it with compassion, create supportive strategies, and reduce the emotional toll it can take on daily life.
Why ‘Radical Acceptance’ Might Be the Key to Thriving as a Neurodivergent Adult
Radical acceptance invites neurodivergent adults to stop fighting against who we are and instead embrace our brains, needs, and experiences without judgment. It offers a path to healing by challenging internalized ableism, redefining success, and allowing rest, authenticity, and self-trust. Through this practice, we can begin to build lives that reflect our true selves and create space where we can thrive rather than simply survive.
“But You Don’t Seem Autistic”: Breaking Stereotypes & Misconceptions About Autistic Women (3/24/25 Keynote Address at Stockton University)
This article features the full text of Bridgette Hamstead’s keynote address, “But You Don’t Seem Autistic”: Breaking Stereotypes & Misconceptions About Autistic Women, delivered at Stockton University’s Neurodiversity Education and Celebration Day. It explores the harmful effects of outdated autism stereotypes, the emotional toll of masking, and the often invisible struggles of late-diagnosed autistic women and nonbinary individuals. The keynote calls for greater recognition, representation, and belief in autistic experiences—especially those that don’t fit traditional expectations.
Sensory Trauma: Understanding the Lasting Impact of Sensory Overload
Sensory trauma occurs when repeated or intense sensory overload overwhelms the nervous system, leaving lasting emotional, physical, and psychological impacts on neurodivergent individuals. These experiences, often dismissed or misunderstood by others, can lead to heightened sensitivity, avoidance behaviors, and difficulty trusting one's own needs. Healing from sensory trauma involves creating safe environments, validating sensory responses, and building a life that honors and protects our sensory experiences with compassion and care.
Autistic Burnout Recovery 2.0: Beyond Rest—What’s Next?
Autistic burnout recovery goes far beyond rest; it involves rebuilding a life that honors our neurodivergent needs, energy limits, and authentic selves. Recovery requires examining the systems, environments, and expectations that led to burnout in the first place, while gently reintroducing structure, connection, and joy. With support, self-compassion, and a shift toward sustainable living, we can move beyond mere survival and begin to thrive in ways that feel aligned and restorative.
Masking Is Not a Social Skill—It’s a Survival Mechanism
Masking is not a social skill but a survival mechanism that autistic and ADHD individuals develop to navigate a world that does not accommodate their natural ways of being. While masking helps avoid rejection and punishment, it comes at a significant cost to mental health, identity, and relationships, often leading to chronic burnout, anxiety, and a sense of disconnection from oneself. Unmasking is a gradual process of self-acceptance, setting boundaries, and finding spaces where authenticity is safe, allowing neurodivergent individuals to build lives that align with who they truly are rather than who they are expected to be.
The Reality of Burnout for Autistic and ADHD Adults (And Why Rest Is Not Enough)
Autistic and ADHD burnout is a deep, long-term exhaustion that goes beyond typical stress, often resulting from years of masking, unmet needs, and constant overexertion in a world that does not accommodate neurodivergent people. While rest is important, it is not enough to recover fully, as true healing requires reducing demands, unmasking, setting boundaries, and making lasting lifestyle changes. Recognizing burnout, advocating for support, and redefining success on neurodivergent terms are essential steps toward sustainable well-being.
Birth Control and the Autistic Brain: How Contraceptives Affect Mood, Sensory Sensitivities, and Mental Health
Autistic individuals often experience unique challenges with birth control, as hormonal contraceptives can intensify sensory sensitivities, mood swings, executive dysfunction, and mental health struggles. Despite these significant effects, medical professionals rarely consider autism when prescribing birth control, leaving many autistic people without adequate support or informed options. Greater awareness, research, and advocacy are needed to ensure that autistic individuals receive contraceptive care that aligns with their sensory, cognitive, and emotional needs.
PMDD, Autism, and the Hormonal Rollercoaster No One Warned Us About
Autistic women are more likely to experience severe premenstrual symptoms, including Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), due to heightened sensory sensitivities, emotional dysregulation, and executive dysfunction challenges. Hormonal fluctuations can intensify sensory overload, trigger extreme mood swings, and disrupt daily functioning, yet medical professionals often dismiss these struggles, leaving many autistic women without proper support. Increased research, medical recognition, and awareness are urgently needed to address the intersection of autism and PMDD so that autistic individuals can access effective treatment and accommodations.
The ‘Good Girl’ Trap: How Gendered Expectations Delay Autism and ADHD Diagnoses
Late-diagnosed autistic and ADHD women often fall into the "good girl" trap, where societal expectations of politeness, compliance, and perfectionism mask their neurodivergence and delay diagnosis. This lifelong conditioning leads to chronic masking, burnout, and self-doubt, as many struggle to meet impossible neurotypical standards while feeling like they are constantly failing. Breaking free from this trap involves unmasking in safe spaces, setting boundaries, rejecting people-pleasing, and embracing self-acceptance, allowing neurodivergent women to live authentically rather than performing for the comfort of others.
The Real Reason Autistic Adults Struggle with Mental Health (And It’s Not Autism)
Autistic adults struggle with mental health not because of autism itself, but because of lifelong masking, systemic ableism, social isolation, and barriers to healthcare, employment, and community support. The pressure to suppress autistic traits, navigate inaccessible environments, and conform to neurotypical expectations leads to anxiety, depression, and burnout. To address this crisis, society must shift from forcing autistic people to change and instead create accessible, affirming spaces that allow them to thrive as they are.
Why Autistic Adults Struggle to Feel “Grown-Up
Many autistic adults struggle to feel "grown-up" because societal definitions of adulthood rely on rigid milestones like career advancement, social networking, financial independence, and traditional relationships, which often do not align with neurodivergent experiences. Challenges with executive functioning, workplace discrimination, masking, and the need for ongoing support contribute to feelings of being out of sync with neurotypical peers. Instead of measuring adulthood by neurotypical standards, society must recognize and validate alternative paths, allowing autistic individuals to define success and fulfillment on their own terms.
Why We Need to Talk About Workplace Bullying Against Neurodivergent Adults
Neurodivergent adults face widespread workplace bullying due to rigid professional norms, lack of accommodations, and systemic biases that label them as difficult or incompetent rather than recognizing their differences. This mistreatment often takes subtle but damaging forms, including exclusion, micromanagement, and manufactured incompetence, leading to burnout, job loss, and long-term psychological harm. Addressing this issue requires systemic change, including stronger workplace protections, neurodiversity-affirming policies, and a cultural shift toward valuing diverse ways of thinking, working, and communicating.
Why ABA Should Be a Human Rights Violation (And Why It Still Exists)
Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) is a harmful and unethical practice rooted in behaviorist principles that prioritize compliance and the suppression of autistic traits rather than genuine support. Despite evidence linking ABA to trauma and PTSD in autistic individuals, it remains widely used due to financial incentives, systemic ableism, and misinformation that portrays it as the only effective autism intervention. A human rights-based approach to autism support should center autonomy, sensory needs, alternative communication, and self-advocacy rather than forcing autistic people to conform to neurotypical expectations.
The Invisible Epidemic of Autistic Suicide: What Needs to Change Now
Autistic people face an alarmingly high risk of suicide due to lifelong social exclusion, masking, trauma, lack of accessible mental health care, and systemic neglect. Many autistic suicides go unrecognized due to misclassification, executive dysfunction, and a lack of neurodiversity-affirming crisis interventions, leaving this crisis largely invisible. Addressing autistic suicide requires systemic change, including better research, accessible mental health support, and a fundamental shift in how society values and supports autistic individuals.
Reclaiming Your Autonomy: Understanding and Unlearning People-Pleasing as a Neurodivergent Person
Many neurodivergent individuals struggle with people-pleasing, a behavior rooted in masking and learned survival mechanisms that prioritize the needs of others over their own. Breaking free from these patterns requires recognizing when people-pleasing is happening, reconnecting with personal needs, and setting boundaries without guilt. Healing from a lifetime of suppressing one's own desires and limits is a gradual process, but it leads to greater self-trust, authenticity, and the ability to build relationships based on mutual respect rather than appeasement.
Why So Many Neurodivergent People Struggle with a Sense of Self
Neurodivergent individuals often struggle with a fractured sense of self due to factors such as alexithymia, identity masking, and the pressure to conform to neurotypical expectations. Many spend years suppressing their natural traits, leading to a disconnect from their authentic identity and internalized feelings of failure or inadequacy. However, through community, self-acceptance, and engagement with special interests, neurodivergent people can reclaim their sense of self and build an identity that embraces their unique ways of thinking, feeling, and experiencing the world. A guide to knowing yourself is included in this article.
Speaking the Truth About Autism, Gender, and Suicide: My UN Experience
Autistic girls, women, and gender-diverse individuals face significant challenges due to systemic biases, gendered expectations, and a lack of understanding about how autism presents beyond the male-centric model. These barriers lead to widespread underdiagnosis, masking, social exclusion, and limited access to gender-affirming and neuro-affirming care, all of which contribute to high rates of anxiety, depression, and suicidality. Addressing these issues requires systemic change in healthcare, education, employment, and policy to ensure that autistic individuals, regardless of gender, receive the recognition, support, and accommodations they need to thrive.
How Hyperfocus and Burnout Exist on the Same Spectrum
Hyperfocus, a common experience for autistic and ADHD individuals, allows for deep concentration and bursts of productivity but often leads to burnout when unmanaged. Because hyperfocus does not come with built-in regulation, many neurodivergent people push themselves past their limits, leading to exhaustion, shutdowns, and difficulty sustaining long-term productivity. Understanding that hyperfocus and burnout exist on the same spectrum can help neurodivergent individuals develop strategies to balance deep engagement with necessary rest, allowing for a more sustainable and fulfilling approach to work and creativity.