Why “Just Ask for Accommodations” Doesn’t Work for Most of Us
Bridgette Hamstead
The advice to "just ask for accommodations" is often thrown around as though it is the simplest solution for neurodivergent employees who struggle in the workplace. It assumes a straightforward process: identify a need, request an adjustment, and receive the necessary support to thrive. This suggestion is especially common from well-meaning but uninformed neurotypical people who do not understand the barriers that make requesting accommodations far more complex than it appears. In reality, for many autistic and ADHD employees, asking for accommodations is anything but simple.
One of the most significant barriers is the fear of discrimination or retaliation. While workplace protections like the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) exist in theory, in practice, they often fail to protect neurodivergent employees from negative consequences. Many workers have experienced or witnessed discrimination after disclosing their disability, even in workplaces that claim to value diversity and inclusion. Accommodations are often seen as special treatment rather than necessary support, leading to resentment from colleagues or skepticism from managers. Autistic and ADHD workers frequently find themselves walking a tightrope, weighing whether the benefit of asking for support outweighs the potential risks of being labeled as difficult, incompetent, or a liability.
Even when employees feel safe enough to request accommodations, they often struggle with knowing what to ask for. Unlike physical disabilities that might have clearer, more widely recognized workplace modifications, neurodivergent accommodations are often misunderstood, inconsistent, or completely unknown to employers. Many autistic and ADHD employees have spent their entire lives masking their struggles and internalizing the idea that they simply need to try harder, be more disciplined, or "just deal with it." As a result, identifying accommodations that would actually help can be difficult, especially for those who have never received formal support before.
Furthermore, the accommodations process itself is often inaccessible. Workplace policies frequently require extensive documentation, medical verification, or lengthy meetings with HR to justify why accommodations are necessary. For autistic and ADHD employees, who may already struggle with executive functioning, paperwork, and self-advocacy, these barriers can be overwhelming. Many workplaces demand proof of a formal diagnosis, despite the fact that diagnoses can be expensive, difficult to obtain, and disproportionately inaccessible for marginalized groups. This requirement leaves self-identified and late-diagnosed neurodivergent employees in an impossible position—either they disclose without documentation and risk being dismissed, or they go without the support they need.
Another major obstacle is that accommodations, even when granted, are often not respected. Many neurodivergent employees have had accommodations approved on paper only to find that their managers refuse to implement them. For example, an employee might be granted the ability to wear noise-canceling headphones, but a manager may insist that doing so appears unprofessional or antisocial. Another might receive permission to work from home a few days a week, only to be pressured into coming into the office because it is "important for team cohesion." Some employees are told that their accommodations are too inconvenient, too expensive, or that they make the job impossible to perform—statements that are often more about an employer’s unwillingness to be flexible than about the employee’s actual ability to do their work.
Beyond managerial resistance, neurodivergent employees often encounter stigma from colleagues who perceive accommodations as unfair advantages rather than necessary tools for equity. Co-workers may complain that flexible schedules, additional processing time, or quiet workspaces are not available to everyone, fueling resentment and creating a hostile work environment. This can lead to further isolation, tension, and even workplace bullying. Neurodivergent employees may find themselves singled out, gossiped about, or subtly excluded from workplace culture, making it even harder to remain in their jobs.
The pressure to constantly self-advocate for accommodations, particularly in workplaces that do not proactively support neurodiversity, is exhausting. Unlike a one-time adjustment, many accommodations require ongoing negotiation and reinforcement. If a new manager takes over, an employee may have to start the process all over again. If policies change, they may lose access to the accommodations they previously relied on. If their needs shift, they may feel like they are constantly fighting to justify why they deserve support in the first place. This ongoing battle contributes to burnout, forcing many neurodivergent employees to either leave their jobs or continue suffering in silence.
For some, the risk of requesting accommodations is simply too high. Many neurodivergent workers have been fired or subtly pushed out of their roles after disclosing their disability. Employers often frame this as an issue of "performance" rather than discrimination, making it difficult for employees to prove that their termination was a result of their neurodivergence. Others are denied promotions, given less desirable assignments, or micromanaged in ways that erode their ability to succeed. The reality is that many workplaces still see neurodivergent employees as burdens rather than as valuable contributors who simply require different working conditions to thrive.
A more effective approach than placing the burden on individuals to "just ask for accommodations" would be to create workplaces that are proactively designed to be neurodivergent-friendly. Instead of forcing employees to self-advocate for every need, employers should implement universal design principles that benefit everyone. Flexible work arrangements, sensory-friendly environments, clear and direct communication styles, and alternative meeting formats should not be special exceptions but standard options available to all employees.
The conversation around workplace accommodations must shift from an individualized burden to a systemic responsibility. Until workplaces recognize that the problem is not neurodivergent people failing to request support, but rather the structures that make it so difficult and risky to do so, neurodivergent employees will continue to struggle. Asking for accommodations is not a simple solution—it is an act of resistance against a system that was not built for us. It is time for workplaces to stop expecting neurodivergent employees to fight for inclusion and start taking responsibility for creating environments where we do not have to.