The Blog
Unmasking: Why It’s Harder Than It Sounds & What to Expect
Unmasking as a neurodivergent person is a complex and often challenging process, requiring us to unlearn years of societal conditioning while navigating uncertainty, emotional shifts, and potential social consequences. While it can be liberating to embrace our true selves, it also comes with risks, including misunderstandings from others, workplace difficulties, and the struggle to recognize our own authentic identity after years of masking. By approaching unmasking with patience, self-compassion, and support from neurodivergent communities, we can create a more sustainable and fulfilling way of existing in the world.
Masking Is Not a Social Skill—It’s a Survival Mechanism
Masking is not a social skill but a survival mechanism that autistic and ADHD individuals develop to navigate a world that does not accommodate their natural ways of being. While masking helps avoid rejection and punishment, it comes at a significant cost to mental health, identity, and relationships, often leading to chronic burnout, anxiety, and a sense of disconnection from oneself. Unmasking is a gradual process of self-acceptance, setting boundaries, and finding spaces where authenticity is safe, allowing neurodivergent individuals to build lives that align with who they truly are rather than who they are expected to be.
How to Stop Masking (When You’ve Done It Your Whole Life)
Masking is a survival mechanism many neurodivergent individuals adopt to navigate a world that often demands conformity, but over time, it leads to exhaustion, burnout, and a loss of self-identity. Unmasking is a gradual process of self-discovery that involves recognizing masking behaviors, creating safe spaces to exist authentically, and reconnecting with suppressed traits and interests. While the journey is deeply personal and may come with challenges, it ultimately allows neurodivergent individuals to embrace their true selves with self-compassion and without apology.
The Cost of Masking: Why Autistic Adults Struggle with Burnout
Autistic masking—the suppression of natural traits to conform to neurotypical expectations—leads to chronic stress, exhaustion, and ultimately autistic burnout, which manifests as cognitive shutdown, increased sensory sensitivities, and loss of executive function. This burnout is caused by the constant mental effort of masking, social pressures, and the fear of rejection, often leading to long-term physical and mental health struggles. Recovery involves reducing masking where possible, setting boundaries, engaging in sensory regulation, and seeking support from neurodivergent-affirming communities.