The Blog
Masking Is Not a Social Skill—It’s a Survival Mechanism
Masking is not a social skill but a survival mechanism that autistic and ADHD individuals develop to navigate a world that does not accommodate their natural ways of being. While masking helps avoid rejection and punishment, it comes at a significant cost to mental health, identity, and relationships, often leading to chronic burnout, anxiety, and a sense of disconnection from oneself. Unmasking is a gradual process of self-acceptance, setting boundaries, and finding spaces where authenticity is safe, allowing neurodivergent individuals to build lives that align with who they truly are rather than who they are expected to be.
The Reality of Burnout for Autistic and ADHD Adults (And Why Rest Is Not Enough)
Autistic and ADHD burnout is a deep, long-term exhaustion that goes beyond typical stress, often resulting from years of masking, unmet needs, and constant overexertion in a world that does not accommodate neurodivergent people. While rest is important, it is not enough to recover fully, as true healing requires reducing demands, unmasking, setting boundaries, and making lasting lifestyle changes. Recognizing burnout, advocating for support, and redefining success on neurodivergent terms are essential steps toward sustainable well-being.
Birth Control and the Autistic Brain: How Contraceptives Affect Mood, Sensory Sensitivities, and Mental Health
Autistic individuals often experience unique challenges with birth control, as hormonal contraceptives can intensify sensory sensitivities, mood swings, executive dysfunction, and mental health struggles. Despite these significant effects, medical professionals rarely consider autism when prescribing birth control, leaving many autistic people without adequate support or informed options. Greater awareness, research, and advocacy are needed to ensure that autistic individuals receive contraceptive care that aligns with their sensory, cognitive, and emotional needs.
PMDD, Autism, and the Hormonal Rollercoaster No One Warned Us About
Autistic women are more likely to experience severe premenstrual symptoms, including Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), due to heightened sensory sensitivities, emotional dysregulation, and executive dysfunction challenges. Hormonal fluctuations can intensify sensory overload, trigger extreme mood swings, and disrupt daily functioning, yet medical professionals often dismiss these struggles, leaving many autistic women without proper support. Increased research, medical recognition, and awareness are urgently needed to address the intersection of autism and PMDD so that autistic individuals can access effective treatment and accommodations.
Autism is Genetic, Not Environmental
Autism is a genetic, inherited neurotype that runs in families, often spanning multiple generations without being recognized due to outdated diagnostic criteria and societal misconceptions. Many late-diagnosed autistic adults are now realizing that their parents, grandparents, and other relatives likely had autistic traits but were mischaracterized as shy, eccentric, or difficult. Understanding that autism is not caused by environmental factors but is a natural part of human diversity helps shift the conversation toward acceptance, accurate diagnosis, and better support for autistic individuals across all generations.
The ‘Good Girl’ Trap: How Gendered Expectations Delay Autism and ADHD Diagnoses
Late-diagnosed autistic and ADHD women often fall into the "good girl" trap, where societal expectations of politeness, compliance, and perfectionism mask their neurodivergence and delay diagnosis. This lifelong conditioning leads to chronic masking, burnout, and self-doubt, as many struggle to meet impossible neurotypical standards while feeling like they are constantly failing. Breaking free from this trap involves unmasking in safe spaces, setting boundaries, rejecting people-pleasing, and embracing self-acceptance, allowing neurodivergent women to live authentically rather than performing for the comfort of others.
Autism and Menstruation: Why Periods Are Harder for Autistic Women
Autistic women often experience menstruation more intensely due to sensory sensitivities, executive dysfunction, pain processing differences, and a lack of proper education tailored to their needs. The discomfort of menstrual products, difficulties in tracking cycles, hormonal mood swings, and medical professionals who dismiss their concerns make periods even more challenging to manage. Addressing these struggles requires better education, accessible healthcare, and accommodations that recognize the unique ways autistic women experience menstruation.
The Real Reason Autistic Adults Struggle with Mental Health (And It’s Not Autism)
Autistic adults struggle with mental health not because of autism itself, but because of lifelong masking, systemic ableism, social isolation, and barriers to healthcare, employment, and community support. The pressure to suppress autistic traits, navigate inaccessible environments, and conform to neurotypical expectations leads to anxiety, depression, and burnout. To address this crisis, society must shift from forcing autistic people to change and instead create accessible, affirming spaces that allow them to thrive as they are.
Who Really Profits from ‘Treating’ Autism?
The autism industrial complex is a multi-billion-dollar system that profits from framing autism as a disorder that needs treatment, rather than a natural neurodevelopmental difference that requires acceptance and support. Industries such as ABA therapy, pharmaceuticals, and autism research prioritize compliance-based interventions, symptom management, and prevention studies while neglecting services that would genuinely improve autistic people’s quality of life. To dismantle this harmful system, funding and decision-making must shift away from non-autistic-led organizations and toward autistic-led advocacy, accessibility initiatives, and community-based support.
Autistic People Have Always Existed—Society Just Didn’t Want to See Us
Autistic people have always existed, but society has historically ignored, misinterpreted, or erased their presence by labeling them as eccentric, disabled, or socially deviant rather than recognizing their neurodivergence. Throughout history, autistic individuals have been revered in some cultures, institutionalized in others, and forced to conform to neurotypical standards, often at great personal cost. The modern rise in autism diagnoses does not mean autism is new, but rather that society is finally beginning to recognize and name the experiences of people who have always been here.
The Quiet War Against Neurodivergent Parents
Neurodivergent parents, particularly autistic and ADHD parents, face systemic discrimination in custody battles, child welfare cases, and interactions with medical and educational institutions due to ableist assumptions about parenting competence. Their differences in communication, executive functioning, and sensory processing are often misinterpreted as neglect or unfitness, leading to increased scrutiny, loss of parental rights, and constant fear of the system. To stop this injustice, legal, medical, and educational systems must recognize and accommodate neurodivergent parenting styles rather than punishing parents for not conforming to neurotypical expectations.
The Dangerous Ableism in ‘Early Intervention’ and Why It’s Not What Autistic Kids Need
Early intervention for autistic children is often framed as necessary for their success, but in reality, it is rooted in ableist assumptions that prioritize making children appear less autistic rather than supporting their natural development. Many intervention programs focus on compliance-based training, teaching children to suppress their natural behaviors instead of creating environments that accommodate their needs, leading to long-term harm, including masking, anxiety, and loss of self-trust. Instead of forcing autistic children to conform to neurotypical expectations, true support should center on affirming their neurodivergence, providing accommodations, and fostering environments that allow them to thrive as they are.
How Schools Teach Neurodivergent Kids to Hate Themselves (And How We Can Stop It)
The education system teaches neurodivergent children to hate themselves by forcing them to conform to neurotypical expectations, punishing them for their natural behaviors, and prioritizing compliance over real learning. Autistic and ADHD students are frequently misunderstood, disciplined for traits they cannot control, and made to feel like they are broken rather than supported in ways that align with their needs. To stop this cycle of harm, schools must adopt flexible, inclusive approaches that recognize neurodivergent strengths, provide necessary accommodations, and shift from punishment-based models to supportive, trauma-informed education.
Special Interests’—It’s Deep Knowledge and Expertise
The term "special interest" is an infantilizing way of describing the deep knowledge and expertise that autistic people develop in their areas of passion, reinforcing the false idea that their intellectual pursuits are excessive or abnormal. While neurotypical individuals with strong interests are seen as experts, autistic people are often dismissed as quirky or obsessive, leading to societal devaluation of their intelligence and contributions. By recognizing autistic passion as expertise rather than a symptom, we can create a world that values autistic thinkers, innovators, and professionals for the strengths they bring.
Why ‘You Don’t Look Autistic’ Is Not a Compliment
The phrase "You don’t look autistic" is harmful because it reinforces outdated stereotypes, dismisses the experiences of late-diagnosed and self-identified autistic adults, and implies that appearing non-autistic is preferable. Autism does not have a singular "look" or behavior, and many autistic individuals have spent years masking their traits to survive in a world that does not accommodate them. Instead of questioning or debating someone's autism, we should validate their experience, recognize the diversity of autistic presentations, and work toward a society that accepts all autistic people as they are.
How the Medical Model of Disability Harms Neurodivergent People
The medical model of disability harms neurodivergent people by framing autism, ADHD, and other neurodivergent traits as deficits that need to be fixed rather than natural variations in human cognition. Shifting to the social model of disability recognizes that the real barriers neurodivergent individuals face come from inaccessible environments, rigid societal expectations, and a lack of accommodations rather than from their neurodivergence itself. By making workplaces, schools, medical care, public spaces, and social attitudes more inclusive, we can create a world where neurodivergent people are supported, valued, and able to thrive as their authentic selves.
Creating a Neurodivergent-Friendly Workspace at Home or in the Office
Creating a neurodivergent-friendly workspace, whether at home or in an office, requires intentional adjustments to accommodate sensory sensitivities, executive functioning challenges, and diverse work styles. Strategies such as customizable lighting, noise control, flexible seating, structured task management, and inclusive communication practices can significantly improve productivity and well-being for autistic and ADHD individuals. By recognizing and valuing neurodivergent needs, workplaces can foster more accessible, supportive environments where all employees can thrive without compromising their comfort or authenticity.
Autism and Alyxithymia: Understanding the Disconnect Between Emotions and Words
Alexithymia, a common experience among autistic individuals, makes it difficult to identify and verbalize emotions, leading to misunderstandings in relationships and challenges with emotional regulation. While autistic people with alexithymia may feel emotions intensely, they often struggle to recognize them in real-time, which can contribute to anxiety, frustration, and difficulties in seeking support. By shifting societal expectations around emotional expression and embracing alternative ways of processing and communicating feelings, we can create more inclusive and understanding environments for neurodivergent individuals.
The Double Empathy Problem: Why Autistic and Neurotypical Communication Breaks Down
The double empathy problem challenges the outdated belief that autistic people struggle with communication due to inherent social deficits, showing instead that misunderstandings arise from mutual differences between autistic and neurotypical communication styles. While neurotypicals rely on indirect language, eye contact, and social conventions, autistic individuals often communicate more directly and process information differently, leading to breakdowns in understanding. Rather than expecting autistic people to conform to neurotypical norms, true inclusion requires recognizing and respecting diverse communication styles, fostering mutual understanding, and valuing autistic ways of engaging with the world.
Why I’ll Never Force Eye Contact Again—And You Shouldn’t Either
Forcing eye contact is an unnecessary and harmful expectation that makes communication more difficult for many autistic people, draining energy and creating discomfort without improving engagement. Neurotypical social norms assume that eye contact is essential for connection, but autistic individuals often communicate more effectively when allowed to look away, focus on a neutral point, or use alternative forms of engagement. Letting go of the demand for eye contact fosters more inclusive and meaningful conversations, allowing people to connect in ways that align with their natural communication styles.