The Blog
The ‘Good Girl’ Trap: How Gendered Expectations Delay Autism and ADHD Diagnoses
Late-diagnosed autistic and ADHD women often fall into the "good girl" trap, where societal expectations of politeness, compliance, and perfectionism mask their neurodivergence and delay diagnosis. This lifelong conditioning leads to chronic masking, burnout, and self-doubt, as many struggle to meet impossible neurotypical standards while feeling like they are constantly failing. Breaking free from this trap involves unmasking in safe spaces, setting boundaries, rejecting people-pleasing, and embracing self-acceptance, allowing neurodivergent women to live authentically rather than performing for the comfort of others.
Autism and Menstruation: Why Periods Are Harder for Autistic Women
Autistic women often experience menstruation more intensely due to sensory sensitivities, executive dysfunction, pain processing differences, and a lack of proper education tailored to their needs. The discomfort of menstrual products, difficulties in tracking cycles, hormonal mood swings, and medical professionals who dismiss their concerns make periods even more challenging to manage. Addressing these struggles requires better education, accessible healthcare, and accommodations that recognize the unique ways autistic women experience menstruation.
The Real Reason Autistic Adults Struggle with Mental Health (And It’s Not Autism)
Autistic adults struggle with mental health not because of autism itself, but because of lifelong masking, systemic ableism, social isolation, and barriers to healthcare, employment, and community support. The pressure to suppress autistic traits, navigate inaccessible environments, and conform to neurotypical expectations leads to anxiety, depression, and burnout. To address this crisis, society must shift from forcing autistic people to change and instead create accessible, affirming spaces that allow them to thrive as they are.
Who Really Profits from ‘Treating’ Autism?
The autism industrial complex is a multi-billion-dollar system that profits from framing autism as a disorder that needs treatment, rather than a natural neurodevelopmental difference that requires acceptance and support. Industries such as ABA therapy, pharmaceuticals, and autism research prioritize compliance-based interventions, symptom management, and prevention studies while neglecting services that would genuinely improve autistic people’s quality of life. To dismantle this harmful system, funding and decision-making must shift away from non-autistic-led organizations and toward autistic-led advocacy, accessibility initiatives, and community-based support.
Autistic People Have Always Existed—Society Just Didn’t Want to See Us
Autistic people have always existed, but society has historically ignored, misinterpreted, or erased their presence by labeling them as eccentric, disabled, or socially deviant rather than recognizing their neurodivergence. Throughout history, autistic individuals have been revered in some cultures, institutionalized in others, and forced to conform to neurotypical standards, often at great personal cost. The modern rise in autism diagnoses does not mean autism is new, but rather that society is finally beginning to recognize and name the experiences of people who have always been here.
The Quiet War Against Neurodivergent Parents
Neurodivergent parents, particularly autistic and ADHD parents, face systemic discrimination in custody battles, child welfare cases, and interactions with medical and educational institutions due to ableist assumptions about parenting competence. Their differences in communication, executive functioning, and sensory processing are often misinterpreted as neglect or unfitness, leading to increased scrutiny, loss of parental rights, and constant fear of the system. To stop this injustice, legal, medical, and educational systems must recognize and accommodate neurodivergent parenting styles rather than punishing parents for not conforming to neurotypical expectations.
The Dangerous Ableism in ‘Early Intervention’ and Why It’s Not What Autistic Kids Need
Early intervention for autistic children is often framed as necessary for their success, but in reality, it is rooted in ableist assumptions that prioritize making children appear less autistic rather than supporting their natural development. Many intervention programs focus on compliance-based training, teaching children to suppress their natural behaviors instead of creating environments that accommodate their needs, leading to long-term harm, including masking, anxiety, and loss of self-trust. Instead of forcing autistic children to conform to neurotypical expectations, true support should center on affirming their neurodivergence, providing accommodations, and fostering environments that allow them to thrive as they are.
How Schools Teach Neurodivergent Kids to Hate Themselves (And How We Can Stop It)
The education system teaches neurodivergent children to hate themselves by forcing them to conform to neurotypical expectations, punishing them for their natural behaviors, and prioritizing compliance over real learning. Autistic and ADHD students are frequently misunderstood, disciplined for traits they cannot control, and made to feel like they are broken rather than supported in ways that align with their needs. To stop this cycle of harm, schools must adopt flexible, inclusive approaches that recognize neurodivergent strengths, provide necessary accommodations, and shift from punishment-based models to supportive, trauma-informed education.
Special Interests’—It’s Deep Knowledge and Expertise
The term "special interest" is an infantilizing way of describing the deep knowledge and expertise that autistic people develop in their areas of passion, reinforcing the false idea that their intellectual pursuits are excessive or abnormal. While neurotypical individuals with strong interests are seen as experts, autistic people are often dismissed as quirky or obsessive, leading to societal devaluation of their intelligence and contributions. By recognizing autistic passion as expertise rather than a symptom, we can create a world that values autistic thinkers, innovators, and professionals for the strengths they bring.
Why ‘You Don’t Look Autistic’ Is Not a Compliment
The phrase "You don’t look autistic" is harmful because it reinforces outdated stereotypes, dismisses the experiences of late-diagnosed and self-identified autistic adults, and implies that appearing non-autistic is preferable. Autism does not have a singular "look" or behavior, and many autistic individuals have spent years masking their traits to survive in a world that does not accommodate them. Instead of questioning or debating someone's autism, we should validate their experience, recognize the diversity of autistic presentations, and work toward a society that accepts all autistic people as they are.
How the Medical Model of Disability Harms Neurodivergent People
The medical model of disability harms neurodivergent people by framing autism, ADHD, and other neurodivergent traits as deficits that need to be fixed rather than natural variations in human cognition. Shifting to the social model of disability recognizes that the real barriers neurodivergent individuals face come from inaccessible environments, rigid societal expectations, and a lack of accommodations rather than from their neurodivergence itself. By making workplaces, schools, medical care, public spaces, and social attitudes more inclusive, we can create a world where neurodivergent people are supported, valued, and able to thrive as their authentic selves.
Creating a Neurodivergent-Friendly Workspace at Home or in the Office
Creating a neurodivergent-friendly workspace, whether at home or in an office, requires intentional adjustments to accommodate sensory sensitivities, executive functioning challenges, and diverse work styles. Strategies such as customizable lighting, noise control, flexible seating, structured task management, and inclusive communication practices can significantly improve productivity and well-being for autistic and ADHD individuals. By recognizing and valuing neurodivergent needs, workplaces can foster more accessible, supportive environments where all employees can thrive without compromising their comfort or authenticity.
Autism and Alyxithymia: Understanding the Disconnect Between Emotions and Words
Alexithymia, a common experience among autistic individuals, makes it difficult to identify and verbalize emotions, leading to misunderstandings in relationships and challenges with emotional regulation. While autistic people with alexithymia may feel emotions intensely, they often struggle to recognize them in real-time, which can contribute to anxiety, frustration, and difficulties in seeking support. By shifting societal expectations around emotional expression and embracing alternative ways of processing and communicating feelings, we can create more inclusive and understanding environments for neurodivergent individuals.
The Double Empathy Problem: Why Autistic and Neurotypical Communication Breaks Down
The double empathy problem challenges the outdated belief that autistic people struggle with communication due to inherent social deficits, showing instead that misunderstandings arise from mutual differences between autistic and neurotypical communication styles. While neurotypicals rely on indirect language, eye contact, and social conventions, autistic individuals often communicate more directly and process information differently, leading to breakdowns in understanding. Rather than expecting autistic people to conform to neurotypical norms, true inclusion requires recognizing and respecting diverse communication styles, fostering mutual understanding, and valuing autistic ways of engaging with the world.
Why I’ll Never Force Eye Contact Again—And You Shouldn’t Either
Forcing eye contact is an unnecessary and harmful expectation that makes communication more difficult for many autistic people, draining energy and creating discomfort without improving engagement. Neurotypical social norms assume that eye contact is essential for connection, but autistic individuals often communicate more effectively when allowed to look away, focus on a neutral point, or use alternative forms of engagement. Letting go of the demand for eye contact fosters more inclusive and meaningful conversations, allowing people to connect in ways that align with their natural communication styles.
Let's Talk About Autistic Sex, Baby
Autistic people experience sex differently due to sensory sensitivities, communication styles, and the need for structure, but these differences can enhance intimacy when understood and embraced. By prioritizing clear communication, sensory-friendly environments, and alternative expressions of intimacy, autistic individuals and their partners can create fulfilling and pleasurable sexual experiences. Rather than forcing neurotypical expectations onto autistic sex, recognizing its unique strengths—such as deep focus, enthusiasm, and thoughtful communication—can lead to deeply satisfying and affirming connections.
Why Autistic Adults Struggle to Feel “Grown-Up
Many autistic adults struggle to feel "grown-up" because societal definitions of adulthood rely on rigid milestones like career advancement, social networking, financial independence, and traditional relationships, which often do not align with neurodivergent experiences. Challenges with executive functioning, workplace discrimination, masking, and the need for ongoing support contribute to feelings of being out of sync with neurotypical peers. Instead of measuring adulthood by neurotypical standards, society must recognize and validate alternative paths, allowing autistic individuals to define success and fulfillment on their own terms.
Why We Need to Talk About Workplace Bullying Against Neurodivergent Adults
Neurodivergent adults face widespread workplace bullying due to rigid professional norms, lack of accommodations, and systemic biases that label them as difficult or incompetent rather than recognizing their differences. This mistreatment often takes subtle but damaging forms, including exclusion, micromanagement, and manufactured incompetence, leading to burnout, job loss, and long-term psychological harm. Addressing this issue requires systemic change, including stronger workplace protections, neurodiversity-affirming policies, and a cultural shift toward valuing diverse ways of thinking, working, and communicating.
Why ABA Should Be a Human Rights Violation (And Why It Still Exists)
Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) is a harmful and unethical practice rooted in behaviorist principles that prioritize compliance and the suppression of autistic traits rather than genuine support. Despite evidence linking ABA to trauma and PTSD in autistic individuals, it remains widely used due to financial incentives, systemic ableism, and misinformation that portrays it as the only effective autism intervention. A human rights-based approach to autism support should center autonomy, sensory needs, alternative communication, and self-advocacy rather than forcing autistic people to conform to neurotypical expectations.
The Invisible Epidemic of Autistic Suicide: What Needs to Change Now
Autistic people face an alarmingly high risk of suicide due to lifelong social exclusion, masking, trauma, lack of accessible mental health care, and systemic neglect. Many autistic suicides go unrecognized due to misclassification, executive dysfunction, and a lack of neurodiversity-affirming crisis interventions, leaving this crisis largely invisible. Addressing autistic suicide requires systemic change, including better research, accessible mental health support, and a fundamental shift in how society values and supports autistic individuals.